Winnipeg on November 29, 1995

There are moments when your mind is spinning faster than you imagine and then you start talking slowly, because you feel such an intense moment of happiness, that you would like to enjoy it most efficiently. It is almost like a delicious meal that you have waited for months and months and suddenly every bite of it tastes so good that you never want it to stop...you chew it until it tastes different. I was sitting with three people around one table today and we talked. For some reason this talk had such a presence and reality that for some moments you think: I never want to talk bullshit or unnecessary things again. But then you think OK this has to be, you have to go sometimes through these periods of small-talk in order to get profound. Swimming on the surface doesn't mean that you can't dive in and diving alone would make you drown. I was looking for such a conversation since days but could not really find the depth that I was looking for. Maybe it was just the wavelength that wasn't really the same or the answers the dia-logos didn't seem to have very much to do with each other. So you feel sad because you feel as if you were reproducing and you cannot really share the ideas. Here today it was different. It felt like everyone was generously putting the treasures out and sharing their beauty, accumulating them in our heads and constantly digesting and growing new seeds out of it. There is something very valid about immediate conversation which is the thought flow that can sometimes be a true exchange of ideas. You don't want to leave these people ever. This was a couple of these valid hours while my eyes are burning like hell and my throat hurts ( partially from the smoke filled place were we were) Now I am sorry I cannot share these treasures with you right now, have to keep them inside for a while, Let them grow and then polish and cut them into shape so they are like real gems reflecting all these different lights and colors and being so rich that you can stare at them for hours...with you I feel like I have these moments more often than with anybody. Even when you are far away you inspire me.