It is 2:47 am and I have been working since 7:30 this morning. M. called at around 4 last night so I worked until five and slipped back into bed rather cold ...spooning. One of these endless workdays were I could curse all kinds of language machines. The tool will come which collects infra red signals from your brain - directly recorded on your harddrive. I hope I will resist the temptation and not eat from this apple when it is offered... By the way easting: (I wanted to write about eating but maybe I should better talk about easting. If easting is to zen out then I am kind of on the right track with this typo: I took a short break to get my favorite soup at P. I go there very often because their soup is so absolutely deliciously spiced and then there is bread, thin flat bread with herbs that comes with it. SOOO GOOD. Each time I am a little sad when I see the last spoon of it because it is my absolutely favorite. Being here in Berlin one of the first things that I want to do is go there. The place is always filled with people which doesn't take very much because the room is smaller than our kitchen. Every wall and the ceilings are made like a grotto with thousands of pegs pins or cones and stones made from plaster. It looks maybe a little bit disney but it is on a sympathetic edge between kitsch and culture that I love because it is handmade and made with love. This is how they run their little Imbiß (in bite) which is not at all a fast food place. And then there are the three men working in this little tiny room (around 12 feet by 12 feet room) running a nice business and making good food. Benches frame the guest room around the walls and little tables where you can eat. On the benches quilts are warming your bottom while you have your feet on little raw pieces of wood. The soup is dark red and topped with green very fine cut fresh herbs carefully spread. Usually my stomach is very happy when he gets this...not today.

When we arrived it looked like there was no space and he (E.) wanted to go to our favorite pizza place anyway. But I wanted to stay because I was really eating mentally my favorite soup since hours and it would have been a major disappointment. The guy already said hello and made us a little marble table at a tiny space that was still left out on the main wall bench and got us a chair. Right next to us, which is about 5 inches from arm to arm, there were sitting four people around the window corner table. This place is not really good for private talk, you can read, stare or enjoy your food, that is about it. These people talked about their work and somehow I couldn't manage to not listen. While they were noisily eating (smack smack) they tattled about whatever and finally I dived into a conversation with my partner until they had finished (unfortunately just) their first course. They were all kind of fat and occupied two tables with their food and cigarettes. They all finished at the same time and immediately started to light up their cigarettes. You cannot imagine how narrow a place, with a 2.5 yard low ceiling, can get if four idiots are inconsiderate enough to smoke all at the same time, no matter how many people are in the room. With the 15 other people in the room I started to feel a lack of air and got slightly aggressive because someone was forcing me to smoke and inhale their dumped air and to breath poison. In the states this is forbidden and you think in a place like NY it has to be like that.

I started to feel a slight headache and my food was not there yet. When my favorite soup came they had already their second course, which was stunning for me because it was another really huge dish. I had enjoyed about ten spoons when I started to smell smoke again right next to me. A glance over to their table and I realized that in Olympic speed they had already stuffed in their stomachs this whole food that a moment ago was still piled on their table. I started to get aggressive and asked: "Do you mind if I eat while you smoke" "Not at all" was the answer " Would it be possible then to hold your cigarette different so I don't get this disgusting smell into my nose" "Not at all". But this was not just the top of the impoliteness, the other girl and one guy started to light up 20 seconds later. I could not believe that they have the right to poison thirteen human beings' air. What really made me upset was what they talked about -Foreigners - how you cannot work with them, how unreliable and relaxed they are, never really keeping the rules - by that time I was angry. I started to grumble not only was she spoiling my food also was she talking respectless and dumb stupid lies about her colleagues who happened to be not East German Saxons. Her dialect (which I find sometimes even cute, when I like the person) started to ennoy me. E. tried to calm me, but my stomach started to grumble. I had fantasies about kicking the fat guy in his fleshy white stuffed a. and violently shutting her up thinking 'Aren't you stupid bitch jut eating a foreigners' delicious food so you dare to bullshit about others. And it is not just your colleague, it is "the foreigners" you must talk about, cause your colleague takes another stupid girls job, who you might prefer but who might be not as smart but therefore German. Don't you see what bad style this is, have you ever been a foreigner in a country. Would you care what other people talk about you behind your ugly back. How dare you sitting in this small friendly place and poison our air with your disgusting smell of smoke and your ridiculous whining about having to work with s.o. who is not German and might see things a little different than you because his horizon might be a little wider coming from a different place." I was thinking while E. tried to ask me something about language processing seeing me internally boiling and seeking to cool me down. I was glad E. didn't understand what she was saying while I was getting more and more angry. Things I better not translate,... These are the moments when you want to turn off the language button. German: no, was unable to create a network socket connection. There may be insufficient system resources or the network may be down. Interrupted, try again later. Sometimes I am very happy that I don't have muscles, I am glad not to be tempted to use them. I tried though to woodoo them with my meanest disgusted look that I can get together. They paid and left before I could flip out. I continued my cold soup and drove home with a stomach ache...

I am sorry I had to waste my time with the digesting of this story. It is 4:40...Good time to sleep.