In Lübeck another home for asylum seekers was set in flames and ten people were killed. Lübeck has a history of racist aggression, last year Neo Nazis had attacked the synagogue. It is something that makes me feel so depressed being still Germany.
This is one of these days when you smell tear-gas or petrol and fire outside when you open the window and you see more police than people in the streets. A not really unusual Kreuzberg-day, that smells familiar and although it smells dangerous it are not really a threat. I was slightly shocked when I stood today in the copy shop Xeroxing a couple of essays out of a book of the History of Beads and on the Metaphysics of Virtual Reality, when Reality caught me again: Suddenly I hear a screaming crowd in front of the window. I looked out and saw a demonstrating crowd walking towards Kottbusser Tor. They were framed, seamed completely by those green aggressive threatening looking over dimensional dangerous bugs but not like human beings. Policemen- dressed in dark green camouflage suits, underneath plastered with metal or hard plastic to protect their bones, white riot helmets and closed shields. I feel extremely furious and unsafe seeing such a number of aggressively dressed "soldiers". They make a demonstration unpeaceful and seem to turn it into a war-game through their simple presence. You just don't even want to get near them as they look like an Orwell vision. What makes me nervous is that most of these men are so young, looking into their eyes they seem completely uncool which is scary because it feels as if they could flip out any moment and just smash you and they would have the power to that. The demonstration was, I think, a rather spontaneous gathering of people who expressed their anger and sorrow about the incident in Lübeck. According to the BBC-news, the fire started in three different places. Who caused the fire was still unclear...? Now, I don't know who it was but whenever something like this happens I just don't want to live in this country anymore. Part of it is how the government deals with things like that, carrying already around such history. When Rostock happened Kohl had not much to say but : This could happen everywhere. I went home and cried and I feel sometimes as if I would have to rip out myself including my roots, pack the suitcase and leave. I enjoy reading German literature. I like the language but that's about all my love to Germany right now...