Berlin, December 3, 1995

It is kind of late or early, depends how you would see it and were you stand, but I would consider it late. I've been having fun, playing music, jam session with Nat and him now I am again thinking I've got duties. Amusing is Greek and means "not thinking", but a- muse can inspire new thoughts. I've been thinking a little about my a(d)dress over there. I think I like the common transience of letters and leaves, natural leaves change in color, are slowly drying out and rolling up and falling finally to be buried under the next snow or being thrown away, new leaves will bury the old ones in the summer. But for a while they are decorating, feeding a tree and collecting light and transforming it...With letter leaves it feels the same, letterleaves are collecting combinations of letters, that are building sentences and creating food for the soul and spirit. They are carrying information and are usually ad-dressing someone, some are even enlightening. I think if you're not really addressing someone else you're at least addressing this inner side of you and that's worth-it to be worn out and in the end you're often writing to carry "it" out or with you a little longer. Thoughts grow like leaves sometimes, they are often not quite fruitful and most of the time can't feed you, but they keep you grow larger or expand. The larger they are the more sun they collect before they die to make space for others. So having committed myself to everyday writing a letter to this symbolic dress and virtual address is kind of addressing myself. An ad-dress (which is often not home and often not the place were you spend most the time spiritually) can smooth the feeling of mental homelessness, which is one of the major problems I think in a global village. Your thoughts are so wide spread that often you might react with some kind of confusion. Home gets to be a suitcase, a suit even, home maybe the only constant that you have and so home can be reduced to a dress, to an address or a friend maybe. I think as the real adventures only can take place in your head, home is a feeling which can exist in your heart without existing in reality. At the moment I have the desire to reduce everything to it's absolute minimum. I like the letter-beads because they make you conscious that every little letter is made out of letters. I like boots and silk, composed together to an outer layer, you have the energy of leather as a stabilizing pedestal for a light sculpture with the energy of a worm metamorphosed into a butterfly. I am jealous of animals that can fly but I think in our mind we can too. We just have to keep moving, not necessarily physically, because traveling has to be an inner process...A black mermaid coral tree is just growing out of my head in a different direction than the shoes....holding a-dress with roots coming out of the depth of the water into the air...